An Open Letter to the
teenager in front of Fresh & Easy who was laughing at the way I
walked;
You think I didn’t know you
were laughing at me, but I did. I’m not as stupid as you’d like to believe and
you’re not as smart – or subtle – as you’d like to think. Not that you thought,
although your friend did. She tried to hush you and stop you. Her body language
showed shame with your behavior. She even tried to give me an embarrassed little
wave as if to disassociate herself from you. To my own embarrassment, I allowed
my irritation with your behavior to keep me from acknowledging her. I hope I see
her again so I can apologize.
But, for you, I feel sorry.
Yes, I was irritated, but it was because you were laughing at a perceived
disability. You had no idea why I was limping. No idea what made “but that girl”
walk the way she did. It could have been a birth defect. It could have been an
accident. It could even have been caused by severe abuse trauma. You didn’t stop
to think or sympathize you just burst into laughter, made quiet comments to your
friends, and laughed some more at your own so-called wit. If you’d have listened
to your friend you’d have seen that none of the rest of your group was laughing.
They mostly seemed embarrassed.
I feel sorry for you
because I’ve learned in 47 years of living that those who make fun of another
person – for anything – do so
for one of two reason: they think it makes them look cool, or it’s to make
themselves feel better about their own insecurities. I don’t know which it was
for you but your friends didn’t appear to think you looked
cool.
What if I’d told you my
limp was because a strong, good looking guy caused me to break my ankle? Would
you still be laughing? How about if I said I was in a vehicle accident because
of that guy and I broke it in three places which caused me to have to undergo
surgery and now I have a plate and six screws holding my bones in place. Would
you still have made snide comments?
I’ll let you off the hook, somewhat,
because I believe you were trying to make yourself feel better (personal
opinion) at the expense of someone you think you’ll never see again. The story
is on the humorous side and my
sister and I made jokes the whole evening that it happened and have done so
since. The vehicle was my bike and the “guy” was my dog. He went down one side
of a fire hydrant and I went on the other. His leash got caught and I and my
bike got flipped over. It bent my bike and broke my ankle. Yes, in three places
and, yes, I have that plate and those pins. And, yes, I laughed at the Urgent
Care and have since. But, you didn’t know that. You laughed at a perceived
disability.
I feel sorry for you. If
you don’t change, the good
friends will stop hanging around you and the bad-influence “friends”
will drag you down. Learn to be kind and sympathetic to others. You’ll feel
better about yourself in ways laughing at them can’t make you feel and you’ll
draw the good sort of friends to
you. The Bible teaches that to have
friends, you must be a
friend. Not a self-centered twerp.
